The Balance of Life/ Deeper and harder than ever before

More than ever before is the balance of life present in my world. It may just be me but everything in my life always achieves a balance in one way or another. But there's a thing that no one ever realizes (or appreciates) about balance. That in order for something to go good something has to suffer. For a loose example: My schoolin' has been going really good thus my bloggin has been sufferin...though these may seem very unrelated they balance out. When your heart breaks you eventually mend it. I wrote a quiz on a book I have read 3 times and recieved a not so good mark and on the same day wrote a test on a book I have never read (and I rarely attend this class) and some how recieved the highest mark in the class. Sometimes achieving the balance takes a long time and sometimes the shifting of life moves things you are unaware of and make you feel as though you can't find any balance.

The second title I just realized could have a definate sexual connatation to it...but trust me its a lot deeper than that! Really I am writing in reference for some help because I think I am going into some uncharted territory for this kid, I am emotionally deeper in a relationship than I have ever been before (and fast approaching the timeline record as well). The thing is the deeper I get the harder I am falling...which is akward because it is near this point (I am a little past the usual point) that I begin to distance myself, where I start running around in my head and creating problems, finding things that are wrong. Thing is this time I have done that...but I haven't found anything, My mind hasn't created any problems...if anything my mind is doing the exact opposite and this feeling so foriegn is a feeling so truly amazing! I just hope it continues and for the first time I am not really worried about whether it will or not...I can feel that it will in my stomach (right beside those pesky butterflies!)

P.S. the new harry potter is pretty sweet

Song of the day: This is for you - Time and Distance

In with the snow

Comming in with the snow:

snowmen. hardcore long days at the Uni. G-man movin home. Daneel commin home. B-town possibly moving. Yellow snow. Some intense stomach butterflies. Melting. A new found passion. Alf is back...in teddy bear form?. creamy cucumber salad dressing debacle 2005. 7 dollars a week. 3 new songs in one day. I haven't written a new song in about 3 months and today alone I have 3 new ones. discovery of acting truth. A new winter coat perhaps. The date nearing to sunshine and surfing. Chirstmas oranges. Basketball. Spending money that I don't have. Thus Being Poor. That horrible feeling in your stomach (all my best is with you Rickdaddy).

I have quoted this before but today it rings truer than ever before: "Dream like you'll live forever. Live like you'll die tomorrow." - James Dean

I love the snow...especially when it is snow like it is today. The build a snowman, make a snow-angel with your shirt off, throw snowballs till your arm feels like its going to fall off, create a fantasy world inside your very own fort, can write your name it without the negative effects haha...you know that kinda snow!! The best part about this years is that it waited til after Hallowseve (which I got about 3/4 of a pillow case full of candy this year...whata haul!!)...also got to dress up as the guy from the alexander kieth's commercials (spilly talker etc.), a vibrator and good ole superman!!

Do you remember things like bublegum promises?? (which is the title of one of my new songs...its jack johnson esq...you know without the being amazing and all part!) But seriosuly do you remember those days of bubblegum promises, blood brothers and pinky swears. Do you remember when they meant something. As in if you were to make any one of these gestures you would keep it no matter what, come hell or high water you would keep that simple promise, swear or oath. Your best friend told you who he liked or about some great place for a fort but made you pick scabs and put them together so you became blood brothers and you could never tell another soul. Your parents ask you where you're going and you would just say "to jimmy's" and jimmy's parents would ask and he would say "to carl's" and you would go to the fort because not even those that birthed, clothed and fed you were good enough to know where this place was. When do we lose that utterly complete belief in the meaning behind our words and actions. Why do we lose this?? It is in things like these that we learn trust, loyalt and to be true to one another. But then somewhere down the road we make a promise to a friend but something comes up so we have to reschedule, or we just kind of forgot and hope they understand, or We just didn't think it was that important...etc. I propose going back to Bubblegum Promises, Blood Brothers and Pinky Swears because then the trust in humanity and those surrounding you would become unconditional.

Anyway that is enough rambling for today...Hope y'all are doing well!!

P.S. Daneel I have 5 c.d.'s ready just need the physical cd to burn it too!!! (damn this being poor thing)