Back to the roots

After an hour of no-reason depression in which I decided to dedicate a blog I went back to the roots of everything that matters to me, the simple things. I went to the lake with some close friends and just played frizbee, had a few brews and shot the shit with a great crew of people.

I then drove to Moose Jaw and my rejuvination was complete...I found the most joy in the world by hanging my arm out the window and cutting into the wind and feeling the pressure. I appreciated every little thing about that drive from the mooing war i had with a cow, whom I named carl, to the rocking out hard to punk goes 80's. The simple things put life in perspective because when the little and simple things get lost in the big picture, the big piture can look pretty damned scary! Anyway mad props go out to the boys from the jaw cause they rock and my drive home was made so easy by being able to just be content with where I was, what I was doing...even if I did just about kill myself a couple times due to being asleep at the wheel...which is funny that the big picture kinda gets thrown right out there when you open your eyes while driving and realize you just about smashed into a semi...but nothing happened thus no biggie!

I am in a great freaking mood...I forgot how much I can entertain myself and it is awesome!!

You all keep it real I am gonna go play in some random sprinklers!

p.s. Em another amazing poem, props!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Constraints

The consraints of ones self...Everyone has thier own way to live, thier own way of doing things. Some stress over ever little thing and worry about every single actions that has happened. I never used to be one of these guys until the last month or so. My consraint has been that I have been living for everyone else and forgot about one person...myself!! I have found myself stretching everyway possible and never taking a personal moment, I have been becoming someone I don't like! I don't like stressing its not in my nature and maybe thats why I have such immense trouble with it...I am the guy that doesn't worry about anything and then all of a sudden the wrong words put together has me goin insane inside my own head! I have put myself in situations that should not have been in, I have done things (albeit I don't remember) that I hate, I have become somewhat of an asshole on occasion...I still love doing whatever I can to make someone happy and feel good about themselves but I haven't been doing that for myself. No one may have noticed this because truly all these things are subtle and mainly happening in my own head but My constraint has been eatting at me slowly and I have to do something drastic before I blow...So this is my plead to myself, I am telling myself that its time to man up and do what you have to no matter how much it is going to hurt yourself! understanding will come from those that truly care and your happy exterior will match your interior instead of the somewhat of an internal struggle!

This is my message to everyone: I am still going to be the same dumbass that laughs at his own jokes, the same guy that will do anything to make you smile when it feels like you won't ever be able to smile again or when your grinning like a fool, the shoulder to cry on, the idiot to do stupid things but I am also going to start doing more for myself, I am going to start depending on others more and being less independant, I am going to keep less bottled up on the inside and just start listening to my own motto a little more (life's a bitch then you die, might as well have some fun while youre here)!
Get ready world cause here I come with a vengance, and unleashed vengance of craziness and absolute clear mindedness!

Still gonna hurt like a bitch though...

Brand New-Soco Amaretto Lime

One Seriously Warped Weekend

My set list consisted of : (in no particular order)
MxPx
Mest
Strung Out
Dropkick Murphy's
Atreyu
My Chemical Romance
Thrice
Fall Out Boy
Reggie & The Full Effect
Relient K
Emery
Armor For Sleep
Halifax
Hidden In Plane View
Avenge Sevenfold

Best 3 shows put on were in this order:
3: Strung out/ Avenge Sevenfold/ Armor For Sleep
2: Fall Out Boy
1: Atreyu...these guys put on the most amazing show and I wasn't even a fan of them before I went!!

The rest of the weekend was a gong show including 19 phone messages left to a friend at 6 am, dog walks at 4 am where peeing on a pole was shared, mangled cowboy hats, being told to get off both the speakers and the fence by the same bouncer, waking up in a random elevator etc.
I am off to a baseball game right now or I would rant about how awesomely amazing this weekend was!

Next Blog: The Constraints

Peace Y'all

Death, serendipity and the waiting game

I am in no way scared of dying myself. If I were to die today I wouldn't say I would be happy but I would be happy with every decision, mistake, move etc I have made...That being said I do not deal with death well at all. If the conversation is about a fictious death I am fine but when it involves someone I know or someone the person I am talking to knows. I freeze up and i try to say a little joke and then akwardly walk away. Which is starnge because i pride myself on what I believe is the gift of gab, I usually thrive in akward situations...spotlight comes on and i give it all I got...but when the spotlight comes from death I am nowhere to be seen...ADAM has left the building. What is it about the death of others that causes such wierd feelings. Is it the thought that no one is imortal no matter how much they believe they are, is it that it brings the realization of how fragile life really is, that your hurt and do not want to deal with what is at hand. Today my supervisors mother terry took a turn for the worse and he was fully prepared and let me know that if he didn't show I knew where he was and I said "gone fishin" and laughed a little and then walked away quickly without saying anything...I froze and that was the first thing that came to my head...not "Sorry to hear that terry" "maybe she'll pull through" "my regards and best wishes"...nope I said "gone fishin". I think my awkwardness may stem from my complete acceptance of my own death, death does not scare me and thus I do not know why others fear the inevitable with every minute you live, you die...."Life's a bitch then you die, might as well have some fun while you are here". So if anyone has some advice like a general response that works for them on how to react to the news of death it would be greatly appreciated!!

Last night watched the movie serendipity for the first time (with 2 lovely ladies) and wow does that movie ever fit in with my utter and complete belief in fate...I can't believe i waited that long to see that..must have been cause it came out when I was in my i hate all chick flicks stage!!
Fate is a funny thing and if things are menat to be then I truly believe that somehow floor 23 will be reached at some point!!

The waiting game begins...I was conditionally accepted to U of A a little while back. The conditions being that I am more qualified than Alberta people...turns out I am qualified enough for the waiting list and number 15 on that list to be exact! So it is some sort of hope to hold on to but I am not going to stop breathing in anticipation!!

Peace out from the partied out, head buzzed, kinda clean shaven, new e-bay using, acceptance loving as well, sunburnt to hell, crazy bastard know as Adam Peters!! (among a whack of other things)

"is it bad that I find myself hillarious???" (really girls I thought I was funny last night and I haven't been in a mood like that in a long time I guess you just brought out the best...well i mean the worst but thats me at my best...word!!!)

Ever been cubed??

the dessert, wilting flowers, tiny rain cloud and talking horses eating your ladder while drinking tea on top of your carpeted box...yeah thats right!

No Complaints No Worries

Terry my supervisor went the whole day without complaining once except about how humid it was which acctually warranted complaining...I am so proud of that old bastard!

So my head has been running a muck lately but nothing that isn't normal...please don't worry "I'm fucked up just like everybody else" (to quote that same great friend)...I am happy and the bad week is over emotionally...physically we will have to wait and see for the weekend!!

so I am gonna write a long blog tomorrow but for tonight the best piece of advice my great grandfather left me (I was 1 when he passed away but it's in one of my baby books)

"always work backwards. That way rather than having to look at what you have left to do you will be looking at what you have already accomplished"...such a wise wise man

night!

I Want To...(Too)

I feel like hell
you feel like dancin...skeleton jar

The rain just keeps commin

Inspired by a great friend that I do not see near enough

I want to...
- Live in Australia, New Zeland, Thailand and Jamacia
- Record a full cd with my own lyrics
- Fall in Love
- Become a teacher
- Finish what I start
- Live in a complete hell hole
- Live in an amazing house with a hot tub
- Streak in every country I visit (2 down)
- Have one day where my head is completely clear
- Create a tradition
- Get along with my parents all the time
- Play golf with Adam Sandler
- Finish writing the movie and have it become a semi cult classic
- Make people happy at all costs
- Make people happy without trying or any cost
- Drink 4L of milk in one hour without throwing up
- Have 4 dogs, a ferret, a parrot, a rat, a lizard, a chick, a duck and a pot belly pig
- Follow through on things better (ie going to the gym...not just to work as one of my jobs is working at the gym)
- Live in a tent for a year
- Get my motorcycle liscense
- Meet Brand New
- Star in an infomercial
- Sky dive and bungee jump in the same day
- Get paid to play a sport
- Create my own sport (for example tape cup..its more of a game played at work and the lake)
- Do so many things that I cannot list them all

Tonight I want to go to a movie and vicariously live my life through the big screen for a little while

Peace

Poker Face

My poker Face has been holding up well so far
but is begining to crack
and the pain begins to shine through
I am all in
but begin to contemplate my choice to wager all my chips
If I win I win big
If I lose I am out of the game
I have nothing left but the pride I came into the game with
nothing...

I am having a bad day physically and emotionally...

I wish that for just 2 minutes I could step out of my head and just watch myself....

BAH!!!