"Life's a bitch and then you die. Might as well have some fun while we're here."

Friday, July 22, 2005

The Constraints

The consraints of ones self...Everyone has thier own way to live, thier own way of doing things. Some stress over ever little thing and worry about every single actions that has happened. I never used to be one of these guys until the last month or so. My consraint has been that I have been living for everyone else and forgot about one person...myself!! I have found myself stretching everyway possible and never taking a personal moment, I have been becoming someone I don't like! I don't like stressing its not in my nature and maybe thats why I have such immense trouble with it...I am the guy that doesn't worry about anything and then all of a sudden the wrong words put together has me goin insane inside my own head! I have put myself in situations that should not have been in, I have done things (albeit I don't remember) that I hate, I have become somewhat of an asshole on occasion...I still love doing whatever I can to make someone happy and feel good about themselves but I haven't been doing that for myself. No one may have noticed this because truly all these things are subtle and mainly happening in my own head but My constraint has been eatting at me slowly and I have to do something drastic before I blow...So this is my plead to myself, I am telling myself that its time to man up and do what you have to no matter how much it is going to hurt yourself! understanding will come from those that truly care and your happy exterior will match your interior instead of the somewhat of an internal struggle!

This is my message to everyone: I am still going to be the same dumbass that laughs at his own jokes, the same guy that will do anything to make you smile when it feels like you won't ever be able to smile again or when your grinning like a fool, the shoulder to cry on, the idiot to do stupid things but I am also going to start doing more for myself, I am going to start depending on others more and being less independant, I am going to keep less bottled up on the inside and just start listening to my own motto a little more (life's a bitch then you die, might as well have some fun while youre here)!
Get ready world cause here I come with a vengance, and unleashed vengance of craziness and absolute clear mindedness!

Still gonna hurt like a bitch though...

Brand New-Soco Amaretto Lime

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