Closing Time

Closing time, the "ugly" lights come up, the deceptive haze clears, the dj says "you don't have to go home but you gotta get the hell out of here" or something along these lines, the last song plays, a quarter of the people get in their cars or cabs and go home alone, a quarter of the people grab some random one night stand candidate, a quarter of the people are disappointed in who they wasted their night on and leave unsatisfied and the last quarter get on their cells to call the one they have waiting for them at home! These are the lucky ones and as well as there are a select few that are happy with the person they "wasted" their night on. So what happens when closing time comes around and everytime for the same person and they are always disappointed, supermodel=disappointed, funny cute girl=disappointed, sugar mama=disappointed etc.etc.etc...For some people closing time brings constant disappointment because of certain circumstances they never ever end the night with the one they truly want to go home with, not just for a one nighter but for a every nighter all! Closing time for these people is always around, its always 3 am (or whatever closing time is in your place of residence)! There are 2 types of these people, 1 is always disappointed in who closing time comes around with because they have a chip on their shoulder that causes them to constantly believe they can do better and 2, the ones I really feel for, are the ones that have one single person in mind and for whatever reason they can never spend "closing time" with that person. For these people I say keep on putting it all out there because someday the "ugly" lights are going to come up, the deceptive haze is going to clear, the last song is going to finish and you are going to find yourself still dancing with the one you want, disappointed no longer!

a dance with the one you want doesn't need music because its perfect as is!

Change

Change is a two way street, and when you are standing there waiting for some action comming from the other way you can be blindsided by oncomming traffic! accept change, but also learn to accpet that sometimes change is never going to come. Take a 3rd person perspective on the situation and decide if change is either going to be a good thing or in acctuallity things are better how they are.

Demand the dollar, don't settle for spare change here and there!

Crushed...

My advice on the current crush situation is act on it or you will get crushed in one of the following ways:

Quickie crush: A quickie crush consists of one person having funny feelings for another when around them. This crush is usually not to serious and often this crush is only for a very short time, until the next hottie/cutie looks in their direction. If acted on immediately one can avoid building a crush of their own and being "crushed" when they find out they are no longer the object of desire/ hottie of the week.

A straight out crush: This crush consists of one person having those same funny feelings x 2 or 3 and some sort of vomit sensation comes everytime you try to talk with the crush. Simple fantasies are developed of what the crush would be like in certain situations and shy glances can often be caught. This crush frequently lasts for a longer time and if not acted on one may be "crushed" by realizing to late when the other has finally started to notice your annoying faults like your constant giggling or the vain in your forehead (haha jj).

Hardcore crush: This crush consists of many things, funny feelings, vomit sensations, stomach butterflies, the bumbling of words etc. Fantasies become more frequent and elaborate, daydreams and regular old dreams are occasionally visited by visions of the crush. Shy glances, and lip bites and longer stares begin to occur with more regularity. Pieces of paper begin to have the crushes name outlined in a heart. This crush lasts usually for quite some time and if not acted on one may be "crushed" to find out all the things they have missed, all the things they never noticed, all the things the gave up once the crush has gone, moved on, is no longer around or just plain gives up.

and the worst kind of all...Listen up BJT!
The Multi-crush: This crush consists of usually atleast 3 mutual crushes between one person and 3 others. Sometimes all 3 crushes are of the same level, other times they are from 3 different levels. Person one may be "crushed" by not decideding on one and putting all their efforts in one place, thus trying to keep all 3 crushes alive they are likely to lose all 3!

We have all been in both situations, the crusher and the crushee, at some point in our lives. Thus we have all been "crushed" in one way or another. Act on a crush cause you never know what it may lead to or it may keep you from wasting your time with the hot/cute asshole/bitch!

The best part about a broken heart (or being crushed) is finding someone to fix it!

p.s. I-web has been sucking so new found glory will have to keep on pumping!
p.p.s. damn...

Lighter Side!

Last blog was a little to bitter sounding, so to the lighter side!

MR. E'S BEAUTIFUL BLUES
"the smokestack spitting black soot into the sooty sky
the load on the road brings a tear to the indian's eye
the elephant won't forget what it's like inside his cage
the ringmaster's telecaster sings on an empty stage
goddamn right it's a beautiful day
goddamn right it's a beautiful day
the girl with the curls and the sweet pink ribbon in her hair
she's crawling out her window 'cause her daddy he just don't care
come on
goddamn right it's a beautiful day
goddamn right it's a beautiful day
the clown with the frown driving down to the sidewalk fair
finger on the trigger let me tell you gave us quite a scare
goddamn right it's a beautiful day
goddamn right it's a beautiful day
the kids flip their lids when their ids hear that crazy sound
my neighbor digs the flavor still he's moving to another town
and I don't believe he'll come back
goddamn right it's a beautiful day
goddamn right it's a beautiful day
well i don't know how you take in all the shit you see
no don't believe anyone and most of all don't believe me
believe you
goddamn right it's a beautiful day
goddamn right it's a beautiful day"

Wake Up!

I am going to be kind of general in this particular blog...Kelly these are the same words I have just told you for the last week and I figure if you read them (if you even read this like you say you do) it might get through to you! (also Linner your romantics blog had me at hello)!

Why people do certain things is beyond me. Why must we touch the fence with the wet paint sign on it to see if the sign is telling the truth? Why do we sometimes hit ourselves with something just to see if it is going to hurt? Why do we do it again to see if it hurt more than the first time? (and for the main focus of this blog) Why do girls go back...
If he hurt you that bad once what makes you think he won't do it again? If he could lie straight to your face for 3 months about it what makes you think he will now tell the truth? If he can cheat on you with one of your friends what makes you think he will stop cheating? If he treats you with a total lack of respect in public, and most of the time in private, what has he now done to change?
He is an ass, for this. Most girls ignore warning signs, the distance of some days, the sudden independance needed, the blow ups over nothing...girls overlook these because they are afraid of something...being alone maybe??

If all of you listen to just one thing I say ever make it be this. There are nice guys! If a guy is treating you like I have just descirbed do not hold on thinking it's the best you can do because there is a nice guy right there in last place, at the end of the line with a smile on, waiting for a girl to give everything she deserves...they may be hard to find, but trust me just cause they're not in first place doesn't mean they aren't in the race!

Sometimes this guy being the asshole is still an alright guy as long as you are not dating him, he may even be freinds with others. So then why as girl when you are laying your poor me I didn't see this comming (this being him cheating) on one of his friends to get sympathy and you are given a response such as "well yeah he's an ass but he always has been, you knew that" or "your better off" and things of this nature, why do you run back to this ass and try and make up things to make the person trying to console you look like a total ass. This person is doing nothing but trying to be sympathetic with you in this terrible situation and then you do this and try and turn 2 friends against one another so that maybe this will be the situation at hand and you can just plain ole forget him cheating and you can go back to being convientently oblivious to any of these happenings!

"If it smells like chicken, looks like chicken and tastes like chicken then by golly its probably chicken"

(sorry this one was a little personal but needed to get this out!)

Steps

I cannot pin point the exact moment of my epiphany, whether it was in my 8th hour of school or 5th hour of work today, or last week when reading my favorite words or maybe it was last night at 5:45 am when I finally finished my essay that was due at 8 o'clock. The time doesn't matter, the words do. Steps are vital to any situation, and every aspect of life. Whether it be literally in the physical steps taken to move from one destination to another destination, or metaphorical steps taken in the "walks" of life. Because steps, forward, backwards, sideways etc. are all steps in the direction towards progress. A step forward can bring new challenges. A step back can give an totally different perspective. A step to the side could save you from a downfall. No matter which way you have stepped you have come to some where new.

So stop standing still and take a run at life, who knows where you'll end up!

Stage Presence

"life's a stage"-I assume some wise person said this already but I am not sure who it was and why they alone should get credit for it

So now that we know life's a stage, we must now learn stage presence. We have an audience almost 24/7 so every move must be calculated. First of all you must decided what kind of genre your life is, thriller, comedy, tragedy, drama, after school special etc. Then you must decide the quirks and quarks of your character. Next you must block out where each piece of acting is going to take place. You must then decide if it's an independent film, one of those happy to make your money back films or a big mega blockbuster. Because whether we like it or not everything we do is being judged or observed by someone in the "audience". The independent films do not care if people come to watch because it's their vision and that's all that matters. The happy to make their money back people are the kind that like to fit in and be well liked and do not really care if they are in the audience or on the stage. And the Blockbuster people generally advertise their specialness and have to be the center of attention. The beauty about this movie is the script is only half yours and you must react to the characters around you. As we see sometimes those independent films become the blockbusters nobody expected and sometimes the blockbusters flop right onto their faces.

I live my life as if every scene was on camera, as if every line was being written for a script. This doesn't affect how I live but it keeps me commin back for all the sequels!

what kind stage is your life on??

The Only People

It seems now-a-days the only people to tell the brutal and honest truth is drunks and children. Now only if we could all have a little drunken child in all of us we'd be golden!!

"A drunk mans words is a sober mans thoughts"

p.s. a few words I truthfully believe need to be brought back with a vengeance!
-rad
-tubular
-prime
-neato
-cowabunga
-golden
-groovy....Along with many others, really just watch old Ninja turtles and your set!!

Time

Yet again 8:30 rolled around a lot faster than expected. Now being late for my English class I can honestly say has not been my fault yet. All 5 times I have been late my ride, my loving mother, has been to slow out of the tub or still doing her hair so that we leave late and then everything gets behind. I blame hitting the red light on the fact we left 30 seconds late cause of red lip stick. I blame being stuck behind the semi on the 1 minute spent on reading that last line in the paper. But what all this blaming made me realize is to number 1 chill out cause as my mother has pointed out I can get up an hour earlier and take the bus if I want to and number 2 that I have now become a slave to time! We are all slaves to time...We give ourselves deadlines and kill ourselves to meet them. I truly wish we could just do things, no timelines involved. You know go to bed at 3 in the afternoon one day and midnight the next day. Go to classes when we feel like it, make phone calls whenever, work as long as we feel is needed at a time that works for us. This I know will never happen but from this day forward I am no longer going to be worried about being at an agreed meeting place 5 or 10 minutes later than preagreed. If I get there I get there...Life, it isn't a forsure so why should we abide by what is convenient for everybody else, its here for living and time shouldn't constrict us to when and what we do!! LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST...YOU ONLY GET ONE!!!!

"Life's a bitch, then you die...might aswell have some fun while your here!"- my motto!

Stranger things

Things happen for reasons is what I believe. I also believe that as strange as something seems stranger things have happened. As much as things can go wrong worse things can and have happened. As much as things can go right better things can and will happen. I truly believe this thinking is what keeps a smile on the face. When you take a second to look at your current situation and truly appreciate what is going on, good or bad, you will keep a positive outlook. Because to often we do not acknowledge that worse things are happening to other people. You have to look out for yourself first and foremost but it will give such a better perspective if you were just to take a second look at the situation and make the best of it!

I have just come off of a pretty up and down last 2 weeks and in essence rough month or so(I don't need to go into details but just ask me if you really wanna know what they are!!!)...It is just this thinking that has kept me smiling and I am dealing with the hardships with a the most positive outlook possible. As much as there has been downs there has also been many ups and I am now trying to turn these downs 180 degrees and make them become ups...It can happen, trust me stranger things have...!

The why's

So another life's lesson taught to me yesterday by yet another family member. 6 year old little cousin Tyler. He called yesterday just to talk to me (a cap on a great day!)! First he wanted to know if I went to the blades game, when I said no he asked why. When I explained it to him he asked why. When I explained that to him he asked why. After dodging that question he asked what I was being for Halloween (he is going as a blades hockey player by the way). I told him I wasn't sure yet. He followed with the question of why. I explained that I had a few ideas but I was not yet sure which one I would choose...and as you could probably guess he again asked why! We talked for about 30 minutes and I think in total got through 5 questions and yet this is one of the better conversations I have had with family lately!

Why do we now just accept things as they are? What happened to the days when everything interested us and we had to know more about every situation. When someone told us the leaves turn color because its fall we had to know why or what made them turn color or who decided when fall started or why pine trees needles didn't change color and fall off. We all just became content with the face value of things and stopped digging deeper. Sure some of it has to do with we got answers to a lot of questions in the days we used to ask why but can you truthfully say to me that there is nothing more you question deeper? So I ask why did we give up on the why? why? why? why?...

Thanks Tyler for the eye opener and the phone call!!!

Dreams

Dream. Its one single word that has infinite explanations and definitions! There are many different types of dreams from daydreams, nightmares, dreamy dreams, dreams of attaining ones goals and of course plain ole going to sleep dream dreams etc. etc. We all have different dreams, even inside of ourselves we have hundreds of different dreams a year. Some dreams pertain to that which is going on at that very moment of life and some dreams are crazy, off the wall and a great escape from the pressures of reality. Dreams make up half of our life and the other half of our lives is supposed to be spent trying to obtain these dreams; Trying to make them become a reality. Some people accept that their dream is out of reach and somewhat change their attainable dreams up. The thing is though when you are asleep you have very very little control over your dreams and I truly believe what you are dreaming at this point is that which you want with all your heart. So why do so many people give up on attaining their dreams, why do so many just accept that maybe this wasn't meant to be. Because this is not truly what you want, if it was what you wanted you would dream of exactly that. Some of us do attain our dreams, and then the true beauty of dreams comes forward. As one dream is realized another is formed and this continuous loop will keep on going. Never give up on a dream no matter how confusing the path gets as life gets you down you can always count on dreams to bring you up..."On the way down it may seem a little rough/ but soon all you ever wanted will be just not enough"-a quote from a song I wrote about dreams.

p.s. I realize most of what I say doesn't make sense to anyone else but that is because they are my thoughts and I sometimes have trouble expressing what my brain is trying to relate!

I am wise beyond my years but my mouth hasn't caught up yet...

(sorry about the lack of music change but i-web is being stupid for me!)

Sleepless in Saskatoon

Somethings you just can't help. Somethings keep you awake at night. Somethings make you smile every single time. Somethings make you angry every single time. Somethings keep your mind running overtime. Somethings put you right to sleep. Somethings complicate other things. Somethings make other things all the clearer. Somethings...make somethings special!

I CAN'T FREAKIN GET TO SLEEP!!!