Uncle Dan

I have learned countless lessons from family (bio-logical and not) that I will treasure for life! Uncle Dan I think has taught me the 2nd greatest lesson out of all those who have an effect on my life and my family! Let me set up Uncle Dan for you : 57 years old, full grey hair, heavy set (gettin big but used to be quite fit), nice car, nice clothes to match and a good guy to play cards with! Now Uncle Dan is now gone 57 years of his life and never once been married...and for the fact of the matter as far as the family can tell never serious enough about one girl to even have had the thought cross his mind. Also he is a slave to money. He is the guy that doesn't just have pillows but has "the 150 dollar pillow", and doesn't just have a cell phone "it's the best cell phone out there, cost me 250 dollars. It was the most expensive by 30 dollars but I think its worth it". The lesson I have taken from Uncle Dan is that money don't mean shit if you have no-one to share it with and no-one to love. I would much rather not have a cent to my name and wake up next to a special person everyday than to be a millionaire that is as alone the day he is born as he is when he dies. Uncle Dan is a lonely man, and to cope with his loneliness he tries to use money. He invites anyone that will come over to come anytime and he will order up some lunch, he goes to the granada and knows ever single waitress by name, birthdate, plans for the weekend, major in school to their first pets name. So the great lesson I have been taught by Uncie Dan is that do not sacrifice anything if it means you might not be happy by losing that one single thing.

this probably makes no sense, I will read it tomorrow and be like "what the F was I thinkin". But for now its a good lesson and a good concept!

p.s. Uncle Dan I will be over for lunch tomorrow!

p.p.s. Someday I may let y'all know about number 1 lesson but truth be told its pretty harsh so it will be a long road before we come to that stop!..Goodnight!

Excitement

Excitement can get the best of anyone. Some try to play it cool and act is if it is nothing. Some burst out in rejoice, jump around and giggle like a giddy little school girl. Some put on a blank face and try to deny that anything is happening. Some lash out and try to hide behind anger or humor or worry or regret. And there are those very strange people that just act normal and let their excitement get to them at the appropriate times. I wish I was one of those people. The truth is that I infact am more a combination of all of the above (except for the normal part!) but I believe in turn that is more normal, because I just react to the level of excitement felt at that time. Sure it is not always warranted excitement...It may be something that another person would not be excited by in the least, but it is the genuine feeling of that time!

P.S. I am pumped for the weekend and will put my way too overactive imagination into neutral!

P.P.S. A little life check point-all's well. I love my job, I love my classes, friends are awesome as always and my whole life is surrounded by loads of excitement right now (best told about in person so you can feel the energy)

Time to accept the facts

There are some things that during the course of our lives we must go through and then finally accept. I would like to think that personally I have a good grasp on what to accept. Accept that those airbrushed girls in the magazines are unattainable to get and to be. By forcing yourself to try and become like them you are trying to become unattainable (and truthfully who in this world doesn't want to be gotten). Don't get me wrong you should keep dreamin but just realize that some things are reality and others are fantasy. Accept who you are, because you are that way for a reason and if somebody has a problem with that they most likely have not yet come to accept themselves. Accept that people and things change, not always for the better but in the same respect not always for the worse. This is in direct correlation to mothers, the umbilical cord has been cut...Let it go!! Accept that often things are not going to go as planned, and that this can frequently lead to the best times. You'll find out once you've accept this you will spend less time planning and more time doing! Accept that your heart is going to be broken, it happens to everybody. The sooner you accept this the sooner you will be able to open yourself up to the joys and unfortunately the hurt of love. Accept that you yourself are not perfect, nobody is perfect! It is the small imperfections that make up the whole we are! Accept that not everyone likes you and you cannot please everybody all the time. As soon as you do this you will find yourself doing more of what you want and more things for yourself. The best you can do is put on a smile and let those that have a problem work it out with themselves.

I philosophize on life a lot because by philosophizing I am trying to figure out what's right for me. It's just my view/ opinion on a certain subject, it is not necessarily right and it is not necessarily wrong. I have learned to accept that I am not always right, infact I am often wrong. By accepting this I do not fear being wrong because there is a 50 percent chance I could be right...and I am always willing to take a chance!!

So for right now you can choose to accept my views on these situations or not...Either way just make sure its your decision and not someone else's!

Distance

Here in body but not in mind
And yet the expressive words I still cannot find
New sensations never felt before
I was not expecting what your smile had instore
And it hurts, this feeling deep
Yet for always, this feeling I want to keep
Miles and distance driving me crazy
All I want to be is lying next to my lady
Invading every thought and the cause to silent screams
Playing out the what if's in all of the daydreams
I long for the words and hold back the tears
So you know how I feel...I don't care about the difference in years
I just want to hold your hand and have this dance
You had me in a moment with the very first glance
The hours, minutes and seconds I count down
Until I can have you in my arms and again I can sleep sound...

Some days just plain ole suck...
p.s. I just want to do the right thing but problem is I don't know what is right...

"I hope she forgets...it would just be so much easier that way" - Ryan Reynolds (I really, really don't but it fits the poem...really!!)

p.p.s. music won't work for me so umm turn it down and play spacehog- in the meantime!! word!!

Fear and Failure

There's a few things that we do that are like second nature. We fear things for strange reasons and we fail. Of course we do not fail everything and do not fear everything (well most of us!) but we all do this none the less. The main problem with these 2 subjects is that they are not just a one time occurrence. Fear just shows up out of nowhere to say hello, often at the most in opportune times. Whether it be a fear of heights when at the worlds greatest and tallest waterslide park (in san diego by the way) or finding out you have a Fear of flying right after you just won a free trip around the world!...and then we have failure, failure is not a sneaky fellow but he can be relatively unexpected. The biggest problem with failure is that it follows you around! If you fail a test that thought is with you when you go to write the next test...If you miss a shot in basketball failure is there to jump on your back and stick in your head on the next shot. Failure follows until you succeed! It sits in the back of your mind always nagging at you until you can replace that space in you mind by succeeding in the very same place you failed! Often the biggest problem with Failure and fear is that once it has happened/ felt it plagues you and thus causes the snowball effect. The people who become best at what they do find a way to push fear aside and to shrug failure off everytime and push harder to succeed! These are the people that I admire

"For as many times as I have succeeded I have failed. Having the courage to try again is what makes me the success I am" - Michael Jordan

p.s. Nolto (Tyler Dahl) you put on an amazing show last night and the CD is amazing...Kudos!!

Routines

So much of life is made up by routines that we do not even notice it anymore. Students wake up at the same time, often eat the same thing in the morning, shower, do our bathroom business and go catch the bus to school, go to classes and come home for a supper, do some homework and sometimes go out for a beer and then go to sleep to get up and do it all over again. My grandpa for the last 45 years has awaken at 7 am, had a bowl of raisin bran (for fiber) and a piece of toast with butter on it, then turned on the T.V. (or radio) until 8:30 where he then goes for a 20 minute walk, he then reads every single article in the paper until 11, then showers and gets ready to go play the daily round of golf...When the weather is bad he will pull out his putting machine and golf tapes. We all live on some sort of routine, something that worked once for us so we figured we shouldn't change it. This can be good a thing for those of us that leave home because when you come back you can fall into the same routine and that to us feels like home. But I am here to beg of you to break routine, spice up your life. As a student try one day to wake up late so you have to rush to school, do it on purpose. I ask of my grandpa even just to try to throw some jam on his toast! This is a hard habit to break, if you don't believe me stay in your routines and try to break them after a while...It's tougher than you think.

I put my pants on one leg at a time...Some times I like to put both legs on, sometimes I wear different color socks and skip a class to go out to a random sketchy place for breakfast...Funny thing is my routine is not being routine, by everyday doing something different I am doing the same thing...Thus why life is made up of just a bunch of routines!

"I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust and tears in my eyes" - Erma Bombeck

(this one may suck I have been awake for 10 minutes and thought I would write one before my first official day of the new job...woo hoo another first day!)

First day number 17

For the 17th time of my scholastic life I had the ever feared first day of class. The first day of kindergarten I got into trouble because I started to build a sand castle on the nicely carpeted floor. Grade 4 I threw up in a garbage can on the first day because I wasn't feeling well. Grade 7 first day I made a new best friend. Grade 8 First day I had a fist fight with that very same friend. Grade 9 first day I was the shyest kid and did not know anyone, and when attendance came I said present and sure enough my voice had to crack. Grade 12 I got asked to leave 2 of 5 classes for talking to much and being a disturbance to the class. And lucky first day number 17 was filled with being late for the first class, making an ass of my self in my second class and not being the biggest fool there, 3rd was apparently time for a nap and the 4th class for the day was filled with notes and an unfortunate bloody nose that came outta nowhere. Really It was just another first day. I was never one of those kids that loved going back, but in that same respect I never hated going back either. The only thing that the first day of class symbolized to me each of the 16 times before was the last day of summer. Sure officially summer was not over but The free days and late nights immediately turned to long days of obtaining knowledge and early nights to cut down on naps in class. And for the 17th time it is not all that different, with the obvious exception to a few things. I, for the first time, am pumped for school to again begin! For the first time I look back on my now completed summer and have not a single regret! I did everything I wanted to do...It was a summer filled with many great accidents and impulsive moves, traveling and days of doing nothing, taking chances and getting back up after I had been knocked down. This first day of class just ends a great chapter in my life and it now means that next summer is just that much closer...I can almost feel the sand between my toes and sun tanning my skin to a nice evenly bronzed tone!

Lessons of Youth

All people of all ages, races and genders should take some lessons from the kids of all generations. Kids always tell the brutal truth and this is often seen as cute, if we were to be that honest to one another now a days someone would take it to personally and feelings would be hurt. Kids live every moment as if no one is watching, they do what they feel; Now we are worried what people will think of us, what kind of a reputation we might gain or how the image we project to others may become distorted. The kids can often play with themselves for hours on end without the need for external entertainment, no need for t.v. or movies or distractions of the like to pass the time. I know this has been said many times before but today I just saw so many damned kids walking to school and doing their own thing. It has me in a great mood. Now I am off to dream, my now favorite part of the day...That and the mid afternoon naps!

Where ever you are, Dance like no one is watching, Sing to yourself so that the world can hear and live life for all its worth...and then some!

Empty roads...Filled minds

Exactly 11 hours of drive time... Divided up accordingly
10 total minutes of map reading
3 Dr. Peppers
7 minutes of CD/ radio station decision time
2 bags of skittles
3 minutes of swearing at dead ends
1 wrong turn that added an hour of drive time, but really just made the trip scenic
11 minutes enjoying a delectable sub
another 4 cleaning the sauce stain off my sweats/ shirt
4 gas stations (2 of which gas was obtained)
12 minutes of rockin out hard to brand new (til I definitely almost ditched the car cause I was not paying attention)
9 jolly ranchers
2 and half minutes of making my eyebrows move in the mirror
30 seconds of questioning if I was crazy
10 hours and 10 minutes of being stuck what if'ing a million and one things and reminiscing on what's past

worth it...most definitely!!

The who...

I gotta go see about a girl...

Difference in Butterflies

Ok so tonight I am quite inspired by a letter I have received...Here goes...Realize these are just some not all examples

mini-butterflies
-salonkias (you looked at me real quick and looked away just as quick)
-Barrett's basement when you came down the stairs and passed me and I got the very first scent of your sweet smell
-How we could talk and it really wasn't like we had known each other for only a week

Just regular old butterflies
-The way your were so forward and open in questions -Those damned quick looks accompanied by the little lip bite
-B town's backyard/ basement

Major Butterflies
-The Mr. Peters line...hooked me
-Lying on the trampoline
-That damned look, with the lip bite along with your smell...grrr
-The swing

Over the Top Butterflies
- The sleep

Butterflies are just my analogy, everyone has their own analogy for what they feel. Some get goosebumps others just call it extreme nerves. Whatever the feeling is to you it is wonderful, this feeling alone should keep everyone interested forever in the What if's...

"A summer romance is a fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash it's gone. And though you are gone, what you and I shave never will be" - Miss Irons...gonna miss the heck outta ya, as I already am!

Trippin'

Quebec, more specifically trois riveris, was a pretty darned good time filled with tornados, a dollar fifty beer, long walks to anything because of a hotel in the middle of nowhere, major league ball games, hot dogs, only 3 channels in English (2 of which were porn!), meeting new friends, saying see ya later to an old friend, timeless saying such as "get sweeter miller eagles", many a sound effect and naturally adding dizzle to the end of anything to make it cool and of course there was a little baseball in between.
Toronto, more specifically a couple days with Claire, was a great exhausting time. Walking more than 6 hours both days, the CN tower, sky dome, Yonge street, hockey hall of fame, the T dizzle zoo, Dundas square, starsky and hutch, and the university.
Over this whole week and a half of adventure I managed to learn a little bit of French, eat at some of the sketchiest places ever and dance like nobody's mother. Though it was a great time I was definitely ready to leave as I was exhausted, the only problem is I come back home and it is not where I want to be. Thus I am still trippin'...

"the little things are what makes a person..." - me
I love all your little things, because they make up the best whole I have met in a long long long time!